Harrowingly powerful
⭐️⭐️⭐️
The Blurb:
ALL HE DID WAS FALL IN LOVE WITH ME AND THE WORLD TURNED HIM INTO A MONSTER.
Vanessa Wye was fifteen-years-old when she first had sex with her English teacher.
She is now thirty-two and in the storm of allegations against powerful men in 2017, the teacher, Jacob Strane, has just been accused of sexual abuse by another former student.
Vanessa is horrified by this news, because she is quite certain that the relationship she had with Strane wasn't abuse. It was love. She's sure of that.
Forced to rethink her past, to revisit everything that happened, Vanessa has to
redefine the great love story of her life – her great sexual awakening – as rape. Now she must deal with the possibility that she might be a victim, and just one of many.
Nuanced, uncomfortable, bold and powerful, My Dark Vanessa goes straight to the heart of some of the most complex issues our age.
The Review:
I agonised over how to review this book. Firstly - Russell is an incredibly talented writer. This book is an utterly compelling read and it's unbelievable that this is her first novel. Without a doubt, I would read more by her again. But, and this is a big but, it's far too long. About a whole third longer than it really needed to be. And this is such a shame because in this case, it really detracts from how utterly powerful the book should be.
Be warned - this, as the title and blurb would suggest, is a very dark read. The story is told from the perspective of Vanessa, who falls in love with her abuser, her teacher, who started a 'relationship' with her when she was 15. Clearly the subject matter is more than a little challenging. But what makes it even more of a difficult read, is how adamant she is that she was not abused. She truly believes they had a loving relationship and that she was not taken advantage of in anyway. There are moments where her naivety will make your toes curl, but make no mistake, this is absolutely the intention.
"I just need it to be a love story. You know? I really, really need it to be that".
"I know," she says.
"Because if it isn't a love story, then what is it?"
We slowly see this story unravel, through the teenage memories of a now adult Vanessa, as other allegations about her abuser start to surface. Her incredulity at their claims is painful to witness. Her instinct to protect him is more than a little discomfiting.
The real power of this book is how plainly it sets out the way abusers are able to manipulate young girls in this way. They make them feel special, romanced and unique. Vanessa vehemently denies that there was anything untoward about their relationship, as she is so convinced by Strane that theirs is a love story.
"If there's one thing you take away from this class, it should be that the world is made of endlessly intersecting stories, each one valid and true."
Like I say, I would have been totally bowled over by this if it weren't so unnecessarily long. This book could pack such a punch, but a lot of the superfluous detail diminished the overall result. It's such a heart wrenching book and there are moments that will make you feel utterly wretched. But that is the sign of a truly talented author. You cannot achieve that emotional reaction just by writing about a difficult subject matter, you have to handle the story bravely and sensitively, and Russell does both. It's a really important book, and if you can get through some of the filler, it's likely to impact you in quite a significant way.
Thanks to the Publisher and Netgalley for this preview copy in return for an honest review.