top of page

Asking for it by Louise O’Neill


Well, I feel like I’ve just been sucker punched in the gut. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

In a small town, where everyone knows everyone, Emma O’Donovan is different. She is the special one - beautiful, popular, powerful. And she works hard to keep it that way.

Until that night....

Now she is an embarrassment. Now, she is a slut. Now, she is nothing.

And those pictures - those pictures that everyone has seen - mean she can never forget.


This was SUCH an uncomfortable read. Our protagonist, Emma, is not a likeable character. Think ‘mean girls’ - but X-rated. She is fully aware of the impact she has on other people, namely men and is quite happy to use that influence to get attention. She is demeaning to her ‘friends’, constantly putting them down or humiliating them if she feels they are getting more attention than her. It’s clear from the outset that her mother is very superficial and has instilled in Emma a sense that her worth is directly related to her beauty. (“You look beautiful this morning, Emmie. As always”) She’s 18, she enjoys the attention of men, she enjoys casual sexual relationships. She values herself by how many men want to be with her and how many girls want to be like her. Basically put, she's a bit of a bitch.

And then suddenly she is taken advantage of in the most horrible, physical and humiliating way possible. She gets herself in a compromising position at a party, where she finds herself at the mercy of 4 young men who she knows well, as friends, as school mates. She is drunk, she is under the influence of drugs, she is eager to please, she is out of it. And as if this wasn’t awful enough already, the men in question take photographic evidence of the acts they have performed on her, and this is later uploaded to Facebook for all to see.

And from then on we live Emma’s experience through the reactions of her friends, her school mates, her family, the police. We see her slowly ostracised from society and everyone around her.

What Louise O’Neill has done with this book is so powerful. She has taken the issue of consent and really stuck a magnifying glass in its face. And never has it been more relevant than now. By having a protagonist who is promiscuous, self-aware and manipulative, she really brings into the fore the prevalent culture of ‘victim blaming’. Everyone around Emma is thinking the same thing - “but look how she dresses, she’s put it about before, she asks for the attention....wasn’t she just asking for it?”

I’m going to nail my colours to the mast here. I appreciate this is a book review and not a sociological rant, but my strength of feeling for this book has a lot to do with my personal stand point.... I don’t care how promiscuous a girl is, how “slutty” (which is a cultural perception in itself measured by a different yardstick for men vs women), how she dresses, what she drinks or what drugs she takes. If she is unable to give consent, then a sexual act performed on her is rape. That isn’t to say that I condone some of these behaviours, or that I think women shouldn’t try to take care of themselves and their wellbeing BUT her personal choices do not mean she has foregone her basic human right - to be able to decide if she wants to engage in a sexual act with another human.

And that is why this book is so important. O’Neill deliberately creates a protagonist that you don’t like. And because you are reading a book, because it’s fiction and because Emma annoys you, you sort of want her to get her come-uppance. And you sort of think, well you deserved that, that’ll teach you. And then you catch yourself thinking that and you want to delete the thought out of your head, you want to scrub yourself clean for having ever thought anything so heinous. You realise that Emma isn’t just a character in a book, but this is parallel to all the real stories out there. Of women who are blamed for the acts of sexual violence that are carried out against them, because of their own behaviour.

The other thing that O’Neill also hones in on, is how powerful the reactions of other women are. That actually those most full of vitriol and disbelieving, are women. Those most like to shame and degrade a victim are women. And it’s just mind numbingly sad. And then, most horrifying of all, is Emma’s own reaction. I felt sick at her feelings of guilt. At how mortified she feels, because her accusation has ruined those boys lives. In an ode to how ingrained victim blaming has really got in our culture, we see Emma punish herself with self destructive thoughts more than anyone else.

I think everyone should read this book, just be prepared for it to shine a light in your face and make you feel very uncomfortable. I think this actually falls under young adult fiction and although this may seem too much for young people to read, I think that’s exactly why they should.

Lets finish this review with the words of the author herself, taken from the afterword:

We need to talk about rape. We need to talk about consent. We need to talk about victim-blaming and slut-shaming and the double standards we place upon our young men and women.

Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Centre

www.rasasc.org.uk

20 views

Comments


bottom of page