One of the best books I have EVER read
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐⭐
The Blurb:
When four classmates from a small Massachusetts college move to New York to make their way, they're broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition. There is kind, handsome Willem, an aspiring actor; JB, a quick-witted, sometimes cruel Brooklyn-born painter seeking entry to the art world; Malcolm, a frustrated architect at a prominent firm; and withdrawn, brilliant, enigmatic Jude, who serves as their center of gravity.
Over the decades, their relationships deepen and darken, tinged by addiction, success, and pride. Yet their greatest challenge, each comes to realize, is Jude himself, by midlife a terrifyingly talented litigator yet an increasingly broken man, his mind and body scarred by an unspeakable childhood, and haunted by what he fears is a degree of trauma that he’ll not only be unable to overcome—but that will define his life forever.
The Review
This has to be the most beautiful, harrowing, poignant, startling, brutal and epic book I have ever read. It was recommended to me by two lovely work colleagues and they did warn me to prepare myself, but I'm not sure I realised how much of an effect this book would have on me!
As I made my way through the final 100 pages, my husband walked in to find me sobbing. No, not tearing up a little bit, but proper shoulder-heaving, snot-inducing ugly crying. Of course he thought something horrific had happened. And it had. I just raised this book up to him and said, "It's broken me...."
How can I even begin to explain how affected I am by this book? It crept under my skin, oh so slowly and subtly until it was all I could think about, until I felt as close to the characters as any of my family and friends. Yes, it is an exceptionally long book and when you first pick it up it does feel incredibly intimidating. But trust me, you will end up wishing that it was longer, that you could go on to spend more time with these incredible characters. You are so invested in them that you feel their every pain and heartbreak as if it were your own.
Disclaimer - there are some intensely dark narratives in this book and it is most definitely not for the faint of heart. If you shy away from stories that focus on child abuse, then this is not one for you. But if you can stand to make it through that brutality, you will be rewarded with the most beautiful of journeys as you follow these characters and their friendships throughout the decades. It's a story of endurance, of how much grief and pain one person can take from the world and whether the people that love them can do enough to outweigh this ever present pain.
Throughout reading this I reacted very physically. I felt like it was simultaneously squeezing my heart and punching me in the gut at the same time. There were moments where after reading a revelation, I felt the air escape from my lungs and I had to put it down and walk away, just to get some space from it. And yet, it felt like an invisible string was pulling me back to it, I couldn't leave it alone, like a scab you really want to pick at.
I felt changed after reading this and I had to talk to someone that had read it for a debrief, to understand if my visceral reaction was a rational response! I've read a lot of the negative critiques of this book and while I do understand why it's not everyone's cup of tea, I can only judge a book on the emotional impact that it has on me and this book absolutely floored me. I know that I'm going to be thinking about it for years to come and as rarely as I re-read books, know for sure this is one that will stand a second sitting at some point.
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